The dreaded phone call

I was still lying in bed. Craig was getting ready for work, and I was enjoying my early morning tea. Craig's phone started ringing. It was on the bed. Without much thought, I glanced over to see who was calling. The phone ID was my uncle Eric in South Africa... why was he ringing Craig?  For anyone living away from family, you know that it's not good news when a relative rings that you haven't spoken to in years.

I mean, we hadn't spoken for years. My heart jumped into my mouth. I knew it was not going to be good. I picked up the phone and answered it, even although Craig was standing right there.

My uncle asked me if I was open to the news, or did I want him to speak to Craig. Of course I wanted to know what was going on.

Then the news.... my mom had been admitted to hospital the night before. My uncle and aunt had taken her in after realising that my mom was in a lot of pain. The diagnosis was still unsure, but what they knew was that my moms liver was twice the size it should be, it had metastasized, which means it had lesions on it. And not just that, there was an abnormal growth in her lungs.

After getting off the phone with Eric, it didn't hit me straight away. It felt like a dream - like this was all just another health scare, and that it would all go away. Because goodness knows, there had been many of those in the past. Was this really serious? Apparently so.

I called my sister to tell her too. It was the most challenging phone call to make - I knew that it would be hard on her. She had her own journey of pain and sorrow, and also wondered if this was really it.

The news arrived on my brothers birthday - 19th November. It was time to call him to let him know the news. I felt lucky because I was with my sister in Australia, but felt so heart sore for my brother, who we were not only calling on his birthday, but he was also hundreds of miles from his wife and daughters. He was pulled over on the side of the road, while my sister and I tried to break the news to him as gently as possible.

With the love and support of my amazing husband, Craig, and my two adult sons, I was on a flight with my sister and her children - heading towards my mom. We all had a 25 hour travel journey ahead of us, with very little information on what the real diagnosis was for my mom.

After a long few days of travel, we finally arrived at my uncle and aunts farm to see my mom for the first time.

This really broke my heart. She looked so tiny and frail, and was clearly high on pain medication. She was out of sorts, and very confused about why we were all there, and what was actually going on.

The reality of the situation hit me really hard. What had been relayed to me in that phone call just under a week before, all became so real in that moment.

It was bitter sweet - having not seen my mom for over a year, this was not how I had planned our meeting to be.

In fact, just a week before the phone call, Craig and I had submitted my moms visa application to the Australian Govt for her to come and stay with us on holiday for a year in Australia. We were hoping to have her with us by Christmas.

Now, here I was, in South Africa, and most likely here for Christmas, and a lot longer than that, I would imagine.








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